The Journalette’s Festival Experience…
“I’m getting too old for this,” I thought to myself as I squeezed into my LAST pair of fringed denim shorts that actually fit me (I should’ve been at the gym “shredding” months before the event, I know!) Paired with a cute lacy top, sunnies and sneakers – I think we’re ready! Well everyone else is, while I’m still stuffing my shoulder bag with all my festival “necessities” – meaning basically everything I own. Which brings me to my first tip – bring as little as possible! Phone, tickets, ID, cash, cards and that’s about it!
I’m going to be honest here, I’m not really a “festival” kinda gal – I mean I LOVE music, I can’t go a day with out dancing (be it at a class, in my room or randomly between shopping aisles when no ones watching. I’m kidding…I’m actually not.) I just think it’s something you experience in your teens – early twenties or until your festival phase is fulfilled. But there are those that continue to party well into their senior years and good on them – if they are fit enough for Future Music Festival they deserve some kind of seniors discount! Although it would feel a bit weird getting your “gabber” on with your Grandpa. Cringe-worthy moment right there!
And boy are there a lot of cringe-worthy moments at music festivals, both good and bad – so, let’s get straight into the good stuff!
THE FASHION: When I say you can rock up in ANYTHING to a music festival you literally can dress up as whoever, whatever or even don close to nothing during festival season. From Spiderman to Indians to Nuns and Unicorn Onesies there really are no rules. But there are those few that do cross the line…how do you ass? I mean how do you ask?
The most prominent trend this season were those beautiful metallic tattoos, John Lennon shades, 90s chokers, crotchet tops, denim overalls and tie-dye all over! For the guys, it was snapback hats, bucket hats and their shirt either on or off. And hey, if their bodies looked close enough to Ryan Gosling’s, I wasn’t complaining! Just lay off the fake tan, buy some shorts that actually fit you and maybe you’ll attract the right kind of attention. Actually this goes for both girls and guys – I wish I could go to one, just ONE, music festival where you can’t tell whether half the girls have either too much tan on or have fallen into a pit of dirt! Then comes in the damaged hair extensions, overly luscious lashes and face full of make up to add to this severe case of festival fever.
I’m not saying you are unattractive if you have extensions, lashes or wore make- up – that’s perfectly fine! Just don’t go OTT as I have seen in the past and in the future, or at FUTURE? You know what I’m trying to say! But honestly, you are all natural beauties and that should be embraced! Express yourself with the “less is more” approach when it comes to your skin and “be humble” when it comes to your wardrobe! So my tip here is do not try to resemble anyone from Jersey Shore, Geordie Shore, or contestants on the makeover show Snog, Marry Avoid! (p.s. please tell me I’m not the only one who secretly loves watching Snog, Marry Avoid!? Kidding!! I’m actually not.)
Moving on to the LINE-UP! Meaning the acts, bands, International DJs, singers, whatever you want to call them – you came here to see at least one of them! And this year’s line up did not disappoint…so many stages, so many artists, it’s kind of hard to keep track of where to go and what time you have to leave one stage to make your way to the next! My younger brother is a DJ that’s into his “doof-doof” music so I decided I would try to enjoy the “Future Dome” room along with his girlfriend. “Shouldn’t be that bad…” I thought as we made our way to the car-wreck themed stage and before you could say “techno” the beat had dropped and I stood there. Unable to move a muscle because everyone in this room has decided that it’s OKAY to kick and bounce from side to side, in every direction, all up in yo face! *snaps fingers* Oh no, I did not sign up for this, ain’t nobody got time for dat! (Sorry, I had to say it!) When did this style of dancing/”gabber-ing” become the norm. I felt like everyone was on….okay that explains it. My younger brother laughed as my face said it all, Help me!!! I’m being attacked!!, and his girlfriend clearly agreed. Next room please!!
And you know what makes me even happier than music…
FOOD! (Yayyy!!! Kidding, I’m actually not.) You think with all that dancing there wouldn’t be any time for a nice cup of hot chips and an ice cold Smirnoff! Well, for The Journalette there is always time for dat! (Again, I’m sorry) and nothing gets between me and my food. Ever.
We made our way to a soft patch of grass with a beef pie in one hand and hot chips in the other – since I’m on a new healthy diet and all… Look, in my defense there really isn’t any option for healthy food other than freshly squeezed orange juice from the little orange home, I mean dome, across from us. How cute! They even gave us free samples. (Maybe they were trying to tell me something?) Although I didn’t end up buying juice as water is always the best form of hydration during festival season. Sorry Juice Boy. All I need is some high quality H20 (Please tell me you’ve seen The WaterBoy!?)
As the afternoon sets in it really does become so much more of an experience as you prepare for the leading artists – the HEADLINERS! Now I’ve seen Avicii once before, Afrojack and The Prodigy so as the day turned into night my excitement began to realllllly set in. So, who was I waiting for you ask?
No, it’s not Sigma.
Or 2 Chainz. (getting warmer)
Okay I’ll give you a clue. His stage name rhymes with Steak!
Did you say Steak!?
NO I SAID DRAKE!
DRAKE!!!! And I could not WAIT!
I made sure our group of four knew we were NOT missing him nor was I going to be ten miles away from the stage. No, sir! My mission was to get as close as possible to the Canadian-born rapper, singer, song-writer, hottie!!!
So after 2 CHAINS set we squished our way as far as we could go until I literally could only smell a concoction of sweat, B.O., alcohol, smoke and excitement! We waited….and we waited…made conversation with a few randoms…wondered what Drake was doing backstage. What I’d say to him if I ever met him…(I’m Kidding! I’m actually not. Come on, I’m not the only one who pictures these impossible scenarios/fantasies in my mind right?)
And then it happened, he came on stage AT LAST and all I saw was, was, a bunch of arms waving in front of me, a few selfie sticks too and about a thousand phones recording and snapping every moment of the show. I think a girl in the crowd got so excited she *ahem * urinated, I think is the word, herself. Yep, right there. Just peed right near us. OH no. I DID NOT SIGN UP FOR THIS! I did not wait all day in the sun. sweating, dancing, eating, dancing, selfie-ing, dancing, laughing, eating more, waiting, waiting, waiting to get to this moment. No.
I just needed to be lifted up into the air and saved from this sticky situation. Literally. And you know what the answer was. Shoulders. I. love. shoulders. I got to watch the majority of the show on the shoulders of my big bro and it was the BEST! And you know what! All that day-dreaming about Drake floating over to me actually came true! Okay, not entirely but in the form of a flying fox! He beamed over us and landed even closer to me where I got some ah-mazing snaps! (Jokes I was way to crazy and excited to deal with a camera and Drake – I just wanted to enjoy the moment you know!) So I left the photography skills to my brother as he is a professional photographer after all.
He sang all of his hits, spoke to people in the crowd, really interacted with the audience and I just didn’t want him to leave the stage! He was definitely worth the wait and I would do it all over again if I could! I definitely got time for dat! (Did I really just say that again!? Sorry!!!)
No, Drake YOU look so beautiful tonight!
As the festival drew to a close and I stood in the crowd hoping he would come back for an encore (which I had to be continuously convinced that he wasn’t) we made our way home.
Not before grabbing a double sherbet dipped ice cream cone (Sherbet’s good for you right?) and dancing to the last few minutes of Avicii’s final set, fireworks and fun! So, if you’re planning to go to Soundwave, Field Day, Stereosonic, FUTURE or any music festival for that matter as long as you’re with a great bunch of people you will undoubtedly have an unforgettable experience! Besides, music is ageless so I might be seeing you at the next FUTURE Festival…don’t worry I’ll make sure I’m shredded next time.
Final Tip: If you ask anyone to take a photo of you this will be the final result. Enjoy!